'Hilsa for Tk 10!' MP aspirant’s fishy campaign backfires

In what can only be described as “the most deliciously disastrous campaign stunt of the decade,” independent MP aspirant Mufti Maulana Raihan Jamil promised voters in Faridpur-4 they could buy premium hilsa, Bangladesh’s most sacred fish, for just Tk 10.

What followed? Absolute piscine pandemonium.

The great Hilsa stampede 

At 11:00am sharp on Tuesday, outside Bishwa Zaker Manzil Government High School, hundreds of hopeful hilsa-hunters descended upon the scene like seagulls spotting a dropped samosa.

Word had spread like wildfire through villages: “Hilsa for Tk 10?!” Grandmas left their biryani pots unattended. Rickshaw-walas abandoned their fares. Schoolkids skipped class. Even the local cats showed up, tails twitching with anticipation.

But here’s the catch: Mufti Jamil brought only 600 pieces of hilsa.

The crowd? At least 2,000 strong.

Chaos? Guaranteed.

The candidate who outran his own campaign

As the crowd swelled – elbows flying, sandals lost, aunties yelling “Ami age achi!” – Mufti Jamil, ever the statesman, made a strategic executive decision: “Run.” 

Eyewitnesses say he abandoned the remaining hilsa like a sinking ship, sprinting toward his car while shouting, “Allah Hafez, I’ll be back with more fish!”

But the people? They were not done.

His getaway vehicle was later blocked near Bhashanchar Union Parishad by a mob of fish-deprived citizens waving empty poly bags and demanding justice, or at least a consolation prawn.

“He promised us hilsa, not hope!” cried one man, shaking a Tk 10 note like it was a court summons.

Local heroes (aka random uncles) eventually helped Jamil escape.

Public outrage 

Zohra Begum, 72, stood in the scorching sun for three hours. Her verdict?

“I almost fainted. For what? A rumour of hilsa? If you can’t feed the people, don’t tease them like this! Even my cat is disappointed.” 

Titu Islam, local fish enthusiast, added: “He didn’t say how many people would get fish. Just ‘Tk 10 hilsa!’ That’s like saying ‘Free iPhone!’ and showing up with three units.” 

Police: We told him not to do this

Sadarpur Police Station OC Sukdev Roy confirmed the fish fiasco and revealed they had warned Jamil in advance.

“We told him, ‘Sir, this is Faridpur, not a Netflix cooking show.’ He didn’t listen. Thankfully, no one was trampled, though several dignity levels were critically injured.” 

Police arrived to restore order, but by then, the damage was done: broken dreams, bruised elbows, and zero hilsa in hand.

The candidate strikes back

When confronted, Mufti Jamil, now safely indoors, issued this statement: “I only wanted to benefit the people! But the crowd… they were too enthusiastic. For security reasons, I had to leave the fish and flee. I mean — strategically relocate.”